Coping with Grief. Making Space for What Hurts

Grief is one of the most human experiences we go through—and one of the most misunderstood. Often associated only with death, grief can also arise after any significant loss: the end of a relationship, a change in identity, the loss of a job, health, or a hoped-for future. In counselling, we honour grief as a process, not a problem to fix.

Grief doesn’t follow a straight line. It can feel like waves—sometimes gentle, sometimes crashing without warning. You might feel sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, or even moments of peace. All of it is valid. There is no “right” way to grieve, despite what well-meaning advice or societal expectations might suggest.

One of the most powerful things therapy can offer is permission: permission to feel, to fall apart, to not have it all figured out. Often, people come to counselling feeling like they’re “not doing grief right” or “taking too long.” But grief doesn’t run on a schedule. It takes the time it takes—and it looks different for everyone.

In counselling, we explore ways to cope that honour both your pain and your resilience. This might include talking through memories, identifying supportive rituals, setting boundaries, or learning how to sit with difficult emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. We might also gently challenge beliefs like, “If I stop hurting, I’m letting go,” or “I should be over this by now.” Grief isn’t about “getting over” someone or something we’ve lost. It’s about learning how to carry the love—and the pain—together. Over time, we find new ways to integrate the loss into our story, rather than trying to erase it. The goal isn’t to forget, but to remember without being consumed.

If you're grieving, know that it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You don’t have to pretend you're okay. Whether your loss is fresh or long ago, your grief matters—and your healing matters too. Grief is love, transformed. It hurts because it mattered. And in counselling, we create space for that hurt—not to make it disappear, but to help you carry it with more compassion, more support, and, eventually, more peace.